Only By Chance
by Fople Shoken
Summary: A Kyman Fic. When Kyle tries to end it all, the person he least expects is there for him.
1. Chapter 1

**Only By Chance**

He paced around his room. His eyes watered as his thoughts began to eat away at his sanity. " _No one gets it."_ He thought. No matter what he did, he would never be allowed to be himself. No matter how hard he tried, his parents would never accept it. Hell, it even took him sixteen years to accept it. He was gay, Kyle Brofloski was gay. He had known for a long time, but he tried to deny it. He tried to push his thoughts away. He put on a fake smile and acted like everything was okay, but it wasn't. It was killing him to fake who he was, little did he know, accepting who he was would put him over the edge. Kyle had settled on the fact that, no matter what he did, he would always be hated for who he was. Tears rolled down his cheeks, as he reached for some sleeping pills on his desk, and began to unscrew the cap.  
Cartman glanced at his phone. " _1:00 AM. Kyle's definitely asleep by now."_ He thought. Once again, he was headed to Kyles house, uninvited of course. He kept telling himself he only stalked Kyles house to make sure the "sneaky Jew" wasn't planning anything. But deep down, he knew perfectly well, that was a lie. As he made his way down the snow covered side walk, Kyles house came into view. Cartman then made his way up to the house. He pushed back the bushes beneath Kyles window to reveal a ladder. Carefully he leaned the ladder on the house and began climbing. When he reached the window, he slowly peeked inside the boys room. Much to his surprise, no one was there. Confused, he opened the window and climbed inside. The lights were on, but no Kyle. Cartman walked over to the other side of Kyles bed before he froze. He saw Kyle passed out on the floor, with an empty pill bottle lying next to him. "Oh Shit!" He yelled, kneeling down by the boy, he grabbed him. "What the fuck did you do?!" Cartman began shaking Kyle, trying to wake him. "Kyle?" he yelled "Kyle Wake The Fuck Up!" Tears began to fall from Cartmans eyes. He then realized what he needed to do. With a quick motion, Cartman put his fingers down Kyles throat, causing him to throw up. He felt sick as he seen the pile of pills the boy had ingested. Cartman then picked up Kyle off the ground. Cartman was surprised how light Kyle was, though Cartman had thinned out over the years and was mostly muscle now. He carefully laid Kyle on his bed and sat next to him. Once again he began crying. " _Why am i crying?_ " He thought. " _It's not like I care about him... right? He's just a dirty Jew after all._ " Cartman set his head in his hands." _I hate him, and he hates me. That's how it always has been and that's how it always will be._ " But he didn't hate kyle, not anymore. When they were younger he did, but then something changed. He began to care for Kyle, and though he always tried to deny it, he loved Kyle. The only attention he could get from him was hatred. He always ripped on Kyle because it was the only way Kyle would notice him. Cartman then laid next to him and closed his eyes.  
Kyle awoke on his bed. He groand as he looked at the clock. "12:05pm" He read. Kyle looked down, only to be confused. " _Did i sleep in my clothes last night?_ " He wondered. Kyle made his way down the stairs only to find someone sitting on his couch. "Cartman?" He asked. "It's about time Jew. I thought you'd never get up." Cartman said. "What are you doing here?" Kyle asked, still half asleep. "Do you not remember anything from last night?" Cartman asked, sounding annoyed."Um...no. The last thing i remember was getting a call from my parents." Kyle was super confused now. Why couldn't he remember anything? "Oh yeah, speaking of parents where are yours?" Cartman asked. "My Mom and Dad went on a three week vacation in Florida. They left two days ago, and Ike is at a friends house until they get back." Kyle answered. "How did you manage to get them to let you stay home by yourself?" Cartman questioned. "It wasn't easy, it took a lot of convincing." Kyle said "Anyway... What happened last night? I feel like shit." He said. Kyle had a pretty good idea what happened, something he considered doing for a long time. He wondered if he actually tried to go through with it. " You tried to kill yourself last night..." Cartman was getting slightly teary eyed, Kyle noticed this but didn't say anything, quickly cartman reverted back to being an asshole to make sure Kyle didn't suspect anything. "You're luck i saved your stupid ass." Cartman added. He didn't want to be this much of jerk, especially concerning the situation they were in, but being unusually nice would just make Kyle more confused. Cartman couldn't risk Kyle finding out his true feelings, or he might lose what little bit of Kyle he had.


	2. Chapter 2

All at once, the memories came flooding back into Kyle's mind. He remembered his parents calling that night, they checked up on him just making sure he was ok. Kyle said he was, but that was a lie. Kyle was having a particularly bad night. It started on Thursday, his parents had just left that morning, and he had gotten no sleep that night. He was up thinking, like always. That day at school, someone started a rumor about him, they said he was gay. It was true, but Kyle didn't want anyone knowing that. Cartman made a huge deal out of it, constantly ripping on him, more than usual. Throughout the day he had countless pieces of paper and spit balls thrown at him, and was tripped several times. He snuck away from school during lunch and didn't go to school on Friday. That day proved all of Kyles thoughts to be true, so he finally settled on ending it once and for all. " Oh..." Kyle said. " Now do you remember?" Cartman asked "Um.. yeah." Kyle answered. "Good, now go get your shit." Cartman ordered. "What? Why?" Kyle asked. "Because you're staying at my house. So you don't do any other stupid things." Cartman said "I'll be fine to sta-" Cartman cut him off. "Kyle stop whining, you're staying with me and that's final." "Ugg, fine Cartman, I'll be down in a minute." " Ok hurry up." Cartman said. Kyle headed up to his room and began to fill a duffle bag with clothes and other necessities. Kyle kept wondering why Cartman cared so much. Kyle was kind of happy to be going to Cartmans actually. At least he would have someone to talk to, even though he would regret telling Cartman anything of importance because he would probably tell everyone at school. Kyle began to walk down the stairs, bag in hand. " Common lets go." Cartman said " Hold I got to call my parents first." Kyle said. "Screw them they won't be back for 3 weeks you'll be back home before then." Cartman argued. "Ugg.. Fine." Kyle said. The walk to Cartmans house was quiet. When they got there Kyle took off his coat and set his things by the door. " Is your mom here?" Kyle asked. " Naw, she's out with some guy. She probably wont be back for a couple of nights." Cartman said. " Oh, ok." Kyle said. Cartman gestured to the couch and Kyle took a seat. Cartman grabbed a Terrance and Phillip movie off of the side table and put it in the disk tray. Cartman then sat next to Kyle. They both sat quietly and watched the movie, no one said anything. About half way through the movie Cartman got up. " I'm gonna go find something to eat, you want something?" Cartman asked. "Um, sure." Kyle said. "thanks" he added. Cartman just mumbled in response to his thanks. About ten minutes later, Cartman came back into the living room. He was carrying two plates each with a slice of pizza. He handed the pizza to Kyle along with a glass of Mountain Dew. He also had a bag of cheezy poofs with him. " Thanks Cartman." Kyle said. "You said thanks already." Cartman said. " I know.. but you're being so nice to me. Why?" Kyle questioned. Catman couldn't let himself care, he couldn't let Kyle know. But he didn't want to piss him off, this could be the only shot to be be close with Kyle he had left. He didn't want him to leave. " I'm not always an asshole you know." Cartman answered. " Well, I had yet to see it until now." Kyle commented. Kyle looked over at him to see his response. To his surprise Cartman just had this sad look in his eyes. Several hours passed, as they watched tv and different movies. Still, they didn't really talk. Soon it got dark and Kyle began to feel tired. " Hey, I think i'm gonna go to bed. Where should I sleep?" He asked. " You can sleep in my bed. I'll take the couch." Cartman said. " You sure? I can take the couch if you want." Kyle offered. " No it's fine go ahead." Cartman declined. Kyle grabbed his bag and headed up the stairs to Cartmans rooms. He changed into pajamas and climbed in bed. Kyle couldn't get that image out of his head, Cartmans sad eyes. What was wrong with him. Why was he being so nice?


	3. Chapter 3

Cartman sat alone on the couch. He shut the T.V. off, after he was sure Kyle was asleep. He knew he wasn't 'being himself' but he couldn't help it.

He had almost lost him. He had almost lost the one person that he truly cared for. " _If I hadn't shown up..._ " Cartman thought. " _He would have been dead._ "

The thought made a shiver crawl up his spine, and made his eyes watery. " _Maybe I should just tell him, tell him how I feel. No, it would never work. He would never feel_

the same way. Tears began to roll from his eyes once again. He couldn't keep up the act anymore. Cartman knew that it was his fault that Kyle tried to commit suicide.

He had been extra mean to Kyle when that rumor about him went around. Kyle had been ignoring his insults as of late, and Cartman had no other ways to 'connect' with him.

Cartman hated treating Kyle that way but he had been doing it for so long, it was only a habit now. All Cartman could feel was guilt as a sick feeling filled his stomach. He

rested his head in his hands. Sounds of muffled sobs filled the room. Kyle couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking of Cartman, and that sad empty look in his eyes. Kyle

smiled as he thought of all the trouble Cartman had gone through... for him. Kyle couldn't help but feel butterflies in his stomach at the thought of him. He quickly shook his head.

He wasn't beginning to have feelings for Cartman was he? No... maybe? He had always had a deeper feeling for the boy. Under all that hatred and pain, he always had a

connection with Cartman. Sometimes the feelings came out of him. Like when he brought Cartman back to his house after the whole 'jewpacabra' incident. Kyle decided he

couldn't sleep so he went to see if Cartman was still awake. He slowly crept down the stairs so he didn't wake him if he was sleeping. Kyle then heard a noise, " _Is someone_

 _crying?"_ he wondered. Yes someone was, it was none other than Eric Cartman. "Cartman?" Kyle said, worried. "Kyle!" Cartman yelled, startled, as he sat straight up. Quickly,

Cartman began to wipe moisture from his face, trying to hide his post- cry evidence. "Were you... crying?" Kyle questioned. "No, no I wasn't." Cartman quickly answered

between sniffles. Kyle instantly felt sympathy for the boy, even though he didn't know why Cartman was crying. Kyle felt pain at the sight of Cartman being so distraught, he

sort-of lost his senses for a minute, and did something he would never normally do. "Eric.." he said in a soft crackled voice. Kyle lifted Cartmans head up to see his eyes. With

his thumb, Kyle wiped away a tear from the boys face. Cartmans eyes widened at Kyles actions, his lips slightly parted as a sad shocked look spread across his face as Kyle

pulled him into a tight hug. He slowly hugged back as he rested his head on Kyles shoulder. Though the hug only lasted a short while, to Cartman and Kyle both, it felt like an

eternity. When the moment finally ended, Kyle grabbed Cartmans hand and pulled him toward the stairs. "Where are you taking me..?" Cartman asked. "I'm not letting you

sleep on the couch tonight." Kyle said. Cartman didn't respond. When they reached the room, Kyle gestured to the bed, and they both took a seat. "Why were you crying?"

Kyle asked."I... it's nothing.." Cartman said. " Eric..." Kyle said. "Please tell me." A shiver crawled up Cartmans spine, and his cheeks took on a bright red shade. Cartman

just stared at the floor in front of him. "It's.. my fault." He finally said. " Wait.. what?" Kyle asked, dumbfounded. "It's my fault. It's my fault you almost died." Cartman said

weakly as he began to cry once again. " It's not your fau-" Kyle was cut off. "NO! IT IS MY FAULT!" Cartman yelled. Kyle looked at him shocked. " I almost lost you... I almost

lost the one person that means more to me than anyone else in the world." Cartman broke down and pulled Kyle into a hug and when into hysterics. " I'm so sorry! I'm so

sorry Kyle! I'm so fucking sorry!" Kyle actually got slightly teary eyed at the situation. "Shhh... Eric it's okay." Kyle whispered. He patted Cartmans back trying to comfort

him. After some time went by, Cartmans sobs subsided.


	4. Chapter 4

Kyle gave the boy some time to calm down. After a few minutes, he began to speak. "It wasn't your fault Eric... You had nothing to do with it." He lied, Cartman was a small

part of it. "Then what was it?" Cartman asked in a hoarse whisper. " I... I'm.." Kyle couldn't get the words out... "Well?" Cartman said. Kyle sighed and prepared for the torment

he was about to receive. " I'm... gay.." He finally said " But why would you try and kill yourself over it?" Cartman forced out the question, even though he knew the answer. "

Heh...You SERIOUSLY don't get it?! Didn't you even see what happened at school, everyone was torturing me over it!" Kyles eyes watered. " And do you think my parents would

still have anything to do with me if they found out.. They wouldn't let me be who I am, they would probably disown me if I ever told them!" Kyle sighed once again. " Now you

probably hate me too.." Kyle said with sorrow, as he looked at the ground. Cartman didn't hate him though. " Kyle.." He said. Kyle looked up at Eric. " I..." Cartman paused. His

heart sped up as he closed the gap between him and Kyle, forcing their lips together. Kyles heart was beating faster than he ever thought possible. His eyes were wide open with

shock. After a few moments, the kiss ended. Cartman look at the shocked look on Kyles face. "I'm sorry, I-" Kyle shut him up by grabbing him and kissing him. Though the kiss

only lasted mere minutes, to both of them, it lasted an eternity. When they finally broke apart they both stared into eachothers eyes. A small smile spread across Kyle's face for

a few seconds before disappearing. " I thought you hated me.." He said. " I.. I used to... when we were kids." Cartman said. " What happened?" Kyle asked. "I don't really

know... I guess I always had a thing for you, but I tried to ignore it so I was mean to you so I could try to cover it up. Kyle I'm sorry for everything I put you through... I really

am." Cartman answered. Kyle pulled him into a hug. " I know you are... I forgive you." Kyle said. Cartman smiled as he laid down on the bed. Kyle laid next to him. Kyle

closed his eyes and began to reflect on the nights events, before he fell asleep.

* * *

 **Sorry its a shorter chapter than usual, I'm having a bit of writer's block. I was in the hospital for a while and i haven't had time to write so hopefully I'll be**

 **able to upload more frequently now. Sorry if the formatting is a little off my computer is having some glitch problems ._.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I know its been an extremely long time since I've updated. My life's been absolutely crazy the past months. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer so I've been in the hospital a lot. But as of last month i'm officially cancer free. I actually almost forgot about this story due to everything on my mind but I'm doing my best to get back into the flow of things.**

* * *

Cartman awoke slowly, his eyes still foggy. He rubbed his eyes to try to restore some of his sight. The room he was in was being slightly illuminated by the moon light shining

through the window. " _Its still dark..."_ He thought. He went to reach for his phone on the night stand by the bed, only to realize something or _someone_ was stopping his arm from

moving. He was still so groggy from waking up he didn't even realize the pale, red-headed boy clutching on to his arm. " _So... it wasn't just a dream.." Cartman thought._ A small

sweet smile began to form on Cartman's face. He looked at Kyle. His breathing was soft and rhythmic. He looked so peaceful regardless of the events that had taken place just a

day before. Suddenly a scared frown proceeded to form on Kyle's face. His breathing quickened and his grip tightened on Cartman's arm. He was having a nightmare.

* * *

Kyle looked around. He couldn't see anything, and he had no idea where he was. All of a sudden the darkness turned into a bright white room. He looked around at his

surroundings. " _No furniture.. no doors?"_ He thought, confused. The walls, floors, and ceiling were white, almost like a void. He walked to the end of the void-like room and placed

his fingertips on the wall softly. _"Solid."_ He noted. All of a sudden he heard a faint breathing sound behind him, so quiet he was surprised he heard it at all. He spun around

quickly. There, at the other edge of the room, stood a tall, slender, cloaked figure. He saw two lifeless eyes that almost seemed to glow green. The figure created a dark shadow

around it. Kyle's breathing quickened. The figure slowly crept towards him. Kyle pressed his back up against the wall in terror. He started yelling. "WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT DO YOU

WANT?!" The figure stopped a few feet from him, and spoke. "I know." It said. It's voice was weak, but it sounded so familiar, who was it. "WHAT?!" Kyle yelled, panicked. The

figure inched forward again and spoke again. "I know how you feel about _him."_ The figure kept getting closer. Kyle , terrified, bolted out of the way. All of a sudden at the other

side of the room a door appeared. Kyle ran for it, swinging it open. It led to a hallway that seemed to have no ending. Kyle didn't care he kept going. He ran for about a minuet

then swung his head around to see if the figure was chasing him, it wasn't. Kyle turned his head back around only to be face to face with the figure. Kyle screamed and tried to

run the other direction but, before he could, he was forced down to the ground on his knees. There was nothing holding him down, but he couldn't get up no matter how hard

he tried to. It felt as if chains were bounding him to the floor. He looked up at the towering figure. It spoke. "You think he actually likes you? He's only doing it to mess with your

head. That kiss meant nothing to him. It was all a cruel joke. After all who would ever like someone as worthless as _you?"_ Kyle closed his eyes ,as tears formed at their corners,

and winced at the words. He gritted his teeth, turned his head, and screamed, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" His voice was cracking with anger. In an instant his 'chains' were

broken and he lunged at the figure ripping off the cloak. He stopped, gripping the shoulders of the figure. But it wasn't just a mysterious figure. It was him, Kyle. He had been

the figure all along. He had been saying these things to himself. The previously cloaked Kyle started saying "kyle...kyle...Kyle...KYLE!"

* * *

Cartman was shaking the boy, yelling his name as he tried to wake him. Kyle's eyes burst open as he sat up quicker than Cartman even thought possible. Kyle's breathing was

fast and broken. Kyle turned his head to look at him. Cartman was about to speak but was cut off.


	6. Chapter 6

**I have no idea where I'm going with this story yet, but whatever haha. Anyways, thank you so much if you're reading this story. If any of you have any suggestions or tips feel free to let me know, I'm always looking for ways to improve.**

* * *

Cartman way about to speak but was cut off. "Why are you even here?!" Kyle said, almost in a yell. "Wh..what?" Cartman said, he had been caught off guard. "I _said_ why are

you here?" Kyle's voice was shaky and scared sounding, but was almost laced with a venom. "Are you just here to mess with me?!" Kyle had tears running down his face now.

"Kyle..." Cartman said softly, still surprised. He began to reach his hand towards Kyle to comfort him, but was stopped. "I'M LEAVING!" Kyle suddenly yelled. Cartman retracted his

hand a bit but didn't say anything. Kyle quickly grabbed his things and gave Cartman one last look. "fine..." Cartman said softly, yet sad. Kyle left, hurrying down the stairs and out

the door. Tears formed in his eyes as he walked away from the house.

* * *

Cartman sat on the edge of his bed, running his hands through his hair. " _I shouldn't have let him leave._ _"_ He sighed. " _Whatever, I was dumb to think we could be anything_ _more_

 _than enemies._ _"_ He couldn't sleep so he went down stairs to try to get his mind off things. He went to the kitchen to get a drink and poured himself a glass of water. He went and

sat on the couch and turned on the Terrance and Philip movie. He couldn't really watch it though, there was to much to think about. " _What did I do... Did I make_

 _him_ _uncomfortable? Did I say something..."_ Then it hit him. "The nightmare!" He said, out loud to himself. " _I need to know what happened."_ He concluded. "He grabbed his

phone and started to call Kyle, but stopped last minute. " _I'll wait until tomorrow."_ Although him and Kyle had never really been close friends he did know the boy quite well.

Cartman knew Kyle would need time to calm down. Kyle wasn't a very big guy. He was pretty scrawny overall. His personality normally fit his body type. He was normally kind,

not exactly shy, but not very outspoken either. Though when he was mad he was MAD. His face would turn beat red and Cartman would swear that he literally saw steam come

out of his ears once. Small unexpected things, or constant badgering tended to set Kyle off. When he did go into a blind rage though, it usually took a few hours for him to cool

down. Cartman yawned. He hadn't realized how tired he'd been. He went upstairs to his room. He laid down and felt something under his back. He sat up and grabbed the

object. Kyle's hat. It wasn't very often Cartman seen him without it. " _Must've fell off while he was tossing and turning._ " Cartman was so shocked by Kyle's outburst, he hadn't

even noticed he wasn't wearing his hat. Seem's Kyle didn't either, he knew Kyle wouldn't just leave it. He never took it off because he was so self-conscious about his 'jew-fro'.

Then again the rest of our friends didn't take them off either due to the cold. Though Cartman teased Kyle about his hair, Cartman rather liked it. He thought is was cute, but he

never would have said this to anyone else. Cartman set the hat on his night-stand and shut off the light. He fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Kyle sat in his room, alone. " _Whats wrong with me. Cartman didn't do anything." He sighed "I'm going crazy. But that nightmare... it felt so real. Like it was trying to tell_

 _me something, but still... I shouldn't have snapped at him like that. Maybe he really does care... after all we did kiss..."_ Kyle's face because flushed thinking about the moment

there lips touched. In that moment he had felt like all his pain was gone, all his bad thoughts went away. Kyle had always had feelings for Cartman, it was just something about

him. He never let anyone know it though. As much as Kyle hated to admit it, Kyle missed being at Cartman's house, even if it was only for a little bit. Kyle snapped out of his

thoughts at the sight of a particular bottle on his bedroom floor. " _Pills..."_ Kyle walked over and grabbed the bottle and stared at it for a moment before walking over and throwing

it in the trash can. "I won't do that to Eric, not again." He grabbed his duffel bag off his bed, and opened it. Immediately he notice something out of place. A shirt, but it wasn't

his. " _I must've grabbed one of Eric's shirts by accident."_ Kyle decided to put on the shirt, he didn't exactly know why. He just wanted to. He slipped on the shirt and crawled into

bed, shut off the light, and fell asleep.


End file.
